The Creative Process is Messy, Just Like Healing

Healing isn’t linear and neither is creating.

There are days when I sit in front of a blank page, brush in hand, heart heavy, and nothing comes out. Other days, I’m mid-breakdown, tears still fresh, and I suddenly find myself scribbling wildly, dripping paint, tearing paper, layering colors like I’m building armor out of emotion. I never know what I’ll get, but that’s the magic and the mess of it.

Sometimes the mess is the message.

I used to think I had to make something beautiful to make something worthwhile.Now, I know better.

The art I’ve made in the darkest moments, the shaky ink lines, the half-finished sketches, the paint smeared with frustration that’s the most honest work I’ve ever created. It’s not polished. It doesn’t follow the rules. But it’s real. And in a world that rewards perfection, real is revolutionary.

There have been canvases I painted over ten times, trying to get the feeling right. There are pages in my sketchbook that look like chaos to someone else, but I remember exactly what emotion I was trying to survive when I made them. Art becomes a time capsule for what words couldn't say.

Sometimes I make something and love it instantly. Other times I make something and hate it and later realize I was just too close to the pain it came from.

Just like therapy, the process brings things up:

• Old wounds surface.

• Hidden fears take shape.

• Unexpected truths emerge.

• Inner voices get louder or quieter.

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It’s work. It’s emotional. And it’s sacred.

xoxo bv